Life With ALS.com

+    Diagnosed Aug 2005

+     Bipap March 2007

+     PEG July 2007

+     Trache and Vent July 2008

Still Living, Loving & Laughing

There seems to be a huge debate about who makes the best caregiver. If you get onto some forums the women are very vocal about the fact they consider themselves to be the best caregivers. They also feel if they were the ones that had ALS their husbands would not look after them.  I do not disagree that women are more suited and natural caregivers. But that does not automatically mean men are not capable or unwilling.

I am a man (obviously) and there is no doubt I would look after my wife as she is looking after me.

If there is love in the family then looking after someone is not a burden - it is a privilege!

If my wife had ALS instead of me I would force her to do everything possible to stay alive as long as possible. For all of you that just assume men are jerks and horrible care givers I feel sorry for you. Women are obviously more suited to this roll, but men can, and do, rise to the challenge when necessary.  I know a number of PALS whose wives left shortly after they got their diagnoses. So both men and women abandon their spouses when they are needed the most. One is not better than another. A Lot of assumptions are being made and I would like to submit to you that until that day comes you don't know who will be a good care giver and who won't.

My wife said she could never do trache care but once the day came when it needed to be done she had no trouble doing it and laughs when she thinks back. I gave myself an IV for 2 years and prior to having to I used to pass out at the sight of blood. People rise to the challenge when they have to and do a good job. These same people never thought they could do it. I could go on but will quit here.

Please don't take this as a personal attack on either men or women because it is not. What upsets me is people assuming how things will be before they experience them, this is a dangerous practice.